Sunday School Lesson: Living Out Wisdom

Purpose: To understand how wisdom is lived out in relationships.

Scripture : Proverbs 31: 8-14, 25-30

Think about your mother. What is one thing that she did that blessed your life and that continues to bless your life?

Proverbs begins and ends with mothers. From Proverbs chapter 1:

.......never forget what you learned at your mother's knee.
(Pro 1:8 MSG)

and Chapter 31, the final chapter of Proverbs :

The words of King Lemuel, the strong advice his mother gave him:
(Pro 31:1 MSG)

The entire chapter recounts the teaching King Lemuel’s mother. This "oracle" contains words of advice to a newly installed king by his queen mother. The theme of the oracle is how to rule and live justly and righteously. There are many references in Proverbs of Wisdom speaking with a female voice. The first half of chapter 31 are lessons of principles and justice as taught by Lemuel’s mother, the remainder of the chapter is a tribute to a noble wife.

We do not know exactly who Lemuel was. Some translations have notes that indicate Lemuel was from Massa, which is an area of Arabia. This leads some to think that Lemuel may have been king of an Arabian tribe. Others believe that Lemuel may have been a nickname for Solomon, because the translation of "Lemuel" is "one devoted to God" and Solomon was characterized by his devotion to God early in life. Regardless who Lemuel or his mother were, the lesson is valuable. The lesson centers on mothers and wives and how virtuous mothers and wives impact the lives of those around them. We can take the lesson even further with the knowledge that we all - male, female, husband, wife, father, mother, or unmarried- can make an impact on the lives of our loved ones by using the wisdom that God offers in His Word.

In an ideal world, we would find that the ones who love us most and best to be our parents, and most especially our mothers. Our mothers know us best and want only the best for us. In their eagerness to provide only the best, our mothers share their wisdom. Their intention is to dispense to us all that we need to know in order to live a long, happy, productive life.

But do we live in an ideal world?

Are parents in our society the storehouse of practical and righteous wisdom that the Proverbs would lead us to believe?

Many may say yes, but many more (far too many) will say that, no, we do not live in an ideal world and our mothers/fathers show no indication that they want the best for us. Many in our society (maybe even the majority) live or have lived in very unstable family situations. Our generation (the Baby Boomers) began a terrible cycle of divorce, substance abuse, and financial mismanagement that has had crippling effects on the succeeding generations. Many teenagers of Generation X became the only responsible adult of the family. The teenagers had to be the parent whether their mothers or fathers were present or not. Now the GenXers are mothering and fathering a new generation. Where will their parenting wisdom come from?

Let’s look at parents from another angle. Can anyone tell me what is the fifth of the ten commandments?

That commandment is:

Honor thy father and thy mother......
(Exo 20:12 ASV)

Did you know that the fifth commandment comes with a promise?

And what is the promise?

.......that thy days may be long in the land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee.
(Exo 20:12 ASV)

That thy days may be long, or that you may live long. Do you remember our discussion in last weeks lesson on references to living and dying in Scripture? In many cases we can say that in the Bible a good working definition of "death" or "dying" is "alienation from God." We can understand in many references as death = alienation from God and life = relationship with God. If we interpret the fifth commandment in this way then what can be one result of honoring our parents? One possible result is a closer relationship with God.

Nearly every chapter of Proverbs makes some mention of righteous living leading to life (closer relationship with God) and unrighteous living leading to death (alienation from God). Can any of you think of any instances where a person’s relationship with his earthly parents reflected also on his relationship with God?

Proverbs 31 begins with Lemuel’s mother calling him to live a sober and holy life. He should avoid unhealthy relationships and to abstain from drunkenness which alters one’s judgement. The king’s mother is concerned not only with his personal righteousness, but on how that righteousness affects those under his care. She wants her son to rule with justice and protect the rights of the poor and needy.

"Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down-and-outers. Speak out for justice! Stand up for the poor and destitute!"
(Pro 31:8-9 MSG)

He is to be the voice for those who have no voice or political power. The wise mother has seen the actions of others that have brought them to ruin or death.

What responsibility does a person of power have toward the poor and destitute?

How well do our leaders speak up, speak out and stand up for the poor and destitute?

Much of the writings of the prophets in the Old Testament was concerned with the mistreatment of the poor. Jesus came to "speak good news to the poor". The prophets denounced any oppression of the poor. They spoke of a Messiah who would arrive and be the defender of the poor and helpless.

It is easy for those of us who are not poor and needy to look away and not notice the plight of the needy. We could even say that the further we are from being poor and needy the less we are aware of the needs of those in poverty. Is Lemuel’s mother’s directions for him a warning to not overlook the needs of the impoverished or is it a call to take an active role in seeing to the needs of the poor?

Are we to stand up for the poor only when we are directly confronted with their needs or are we to seek them out and offer them assistance?

How well do our leaders actively seek out the needy and offer to be there voice and to meet their needs?

How well do we personally do this?

What are some things that we could personally do to be a voice for the needy and to help meet their needs?

The remainder of chapter 31 is a poem written by Lemuel’s mother instructing him to seek a wife of noble character. Depending on which translation you use, this poem is titled:

The Wife of Noble Character.

The Woman Who Fears the Lord.

Ode to a Capable Wife.

Hymn to a Good Wife.

The Worth of a Godly Woman.

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
(Pro 31:10-14 ESV)

A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
(Pro 31:10-11 MSG)

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
(Pro 31:25-30 ESV)

What does it mean in verse 11 that the husband of the capable wife has "no lack of gain"?

The man who has this woman for a wife possesses everything of value that he will ever need. What more could he ask for? She does nothing but good for her husband and her family "all the days of her life". There is much debate in our society about the role of women. Should women be career women or should their career focus on the family? I’d say either is okay as long as a healthy home environment is maintained and the nurturing needs of the family are met. A multi-talented career woman can meet the needs of her family much better than a stay-at-home mom whose conduct damages and brings heartbreak to her family. The virtuous and godly woman, regardless of career choices will be praised by her husband and children.

Can hard work be seen as an expression of love? How? As long as the hard work does not become an end in itself and deprive our family of our time. (This speaks to fathers and mothers, husbands and wives.) By providing financial support for those we love, we show them we love them.

What do you see as the most striking characteristic of the virtuous woman as described in this poem? She has many distinguishing traits: she is trustworthy, good, has good judgement, works hard; is strong and dignified. She is wise and kind; not lazy. She is loved and praised by her family. She loves God.

Does this woman seem real?

Is she too perfect?

Can anyone live up to these standards?

How is the noble wife of this poem different from or similar to current ideals of wives and mothers?

What are the most important things a woman can communicate to her husband and her children?

Fear of God.

Proverbs started with a statement about fear of God and ends with another.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge....
(Pro 1:7 ESV)

... but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
(Pro 31:30 ESV)

The central characteristic of the noble women is revealed in this statement. This is the most important thing a woman can offer her family: a love of God.

The righteous woman "does not eat the bread of idleness". What is the difference between rest and idleness?

Who do YOU know that fits the description of the wise woman in this poem? Wouldn’t it be a great and marvelous thing if every person could say, "my mother."

What can we do to encourage wives and mothers in their responsibilities?

What can we do to show appreciation to our wives and mothers for all their hard work and wisdom?